There's No Place Like Home

We're at a crossroad

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 01:23:00 +0000

Don't you just love when life follows what you are studying in the Bible? My study this week has been about the crossroads David faced. It's part of a Kay Arthur study.

Well, today we were approached with a major crossroad decision. I am so torn. I really do not know what to do. We have to bathe this one in prayer and seek God's will with all our hearts.

Do you remember me saying that as soon as we sent in a home study and got a call about a child, we'd probably hear something about Carmen?
Well, it's kind of like that. Only, we're not finished with the home study yet. There is a specific agency in the US we've been in contact with though and they are waiting for us to send them a home study to possibly match us with a child now or at least to use in the future if this child is not a good match. We've been praying about what to do and for God to show us very clearly if this is the route we should take. There are pros and cons both ways.

Here are a few: pro--- no long, international travel; WAY less expensive, the children we would be considered for would have special needs; it would be wonderful to have a little baby again; there is definitely a need for families for these children; we've really taken to a few of the children they have listed over the past few months; much easier process,.........

con---a baby would be a big life change (lol); we would have to be chosen by the birth parents; one particular baby we're interested in would be extra challenging through the years--- but it's a very special baby who really needs a family;

So, here's the other side of our "situation"...............
Today we finally heard from the adoption agency involved in the process to adopt the children from Mexico. It had gone completely silent for months and finally they were able to get in touch with the new Mexican officials. Apparently they are very interested in opening the program back up and bringing us all down to adopt the children. So, we could probably go get Carmen very quickly.

It's complicated though.
pro--- we LOVE Carmen (and Marisol!!!) and already think of them as family; we really feel God opened doors for this several times over the past year when we were specifically seeking His will; She would have her own challenges, yet it would be easier than the baby we're interested in because she has no medical concerns; we've already started her process and have all of the paperwork started, so it wouldn't be that "hard"; she was abandoned at birth and really needs a family; she would be like a toddler which is a little easier than a baby.............

con--- umm, we kind of spent a good chunk of our fund we had set back to bring her home (unexpected suregeries and such cost a little bit, but we're so thankful that we had that $$ put back so we could use it); we would have to travel-- what would we do with our kids, how long would it be, are they changing the price and travel requirements, would we both have to travel the whole time....; we know what we originally committed to but it may have changed; we hate to travel far for very long with Mom going through chemo and surgery; we're interested in the domestic program as well..............

There's more, but I won't bore you with that. It was very interesting today because that came and then about an hour later I got another email from a friend I haven't spoken to since we moved. She said she was thinking of us and wanted to know what ever happened with Carmen and if we were bringing her home. That was pretty wild to get those 2 emails back-to-back. Especially as we're praying for clear direction.

But as I said, it's truly a crossroads situation. We could really argue either way. In my heart I would love to bring her home and as far as they're concerned, we plan to. Yet is it the wisest thing right now???? Whatever we decide is a major decision. We don't feel like we want to say no and stop the process for her, yet we hate to stop the domestic process too.

We've been praying for this to be so very clear that we will definitely know without a doubt what we are to do.

We asked the kids and they all said they wanted to bring Carmen home. Of course, they also begged to please bring Marisol home too. Oh, we truly want to do that, but I think there might be another family trying to bring her home. Her birthday is next week. Wouldn't that be an amazing present? For her to have a mommy and daddy coming???? (us!)

Now, the easiest solution would be to bring Carmen home AND adopt through the domestic program. But I don't think it would really be the "easiest" in the long run. lol

Please pray for us as we need to make a decision very quickly. We finish the 2nd half of our home study this week and this will definitely change things.

We know God will provide anything we need to complete whichever process He calls us to. But it's so hard knowing what to do sometimes!!!

Busy week

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 15:33:00 +0000

This is going to be one busy week!!! It seems they all are lately. Sometimes I miss the calm, quiet days of nowhere to go on the mission field. :)

Tonight Levi has a band concert, Wednesday is church, and Thursday, Friday and Sunday are Christmas parties in the evening. Wednesday morning I have a breakfast at Faith's school, Thursday morning is Bible study, Thursday afternoon is Megan's class party, Friday morning is our 2nd half of our home study and Friday afternoon is Faith's class party.

Whew! It didn't seem that bad until I just saw it all in writing. I need to do a little shopping sometime in there too. I guess I better get busy today and finish up the crafts I was working on and get my workout in. It's gonna be a long week. (or maybe it will fly by so quickly that it will seem short???)

At least my beans and rice are started for dinner. I'll make the steaks when they get home and we'll eat early. I need to get the dough made for our dinner rolls though so they can rise. They are super easy (and very yummy), so they won't take long.

Ok, time to take a deep breath, make a list and get busy!
I have a lot of photos to put on here later. I wonder when I can fit that in? It looks like Wednesday morning might have a little free time!

Adoption update--home study

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:33:00 +0000

John and I have always talked about adopting since we got married 18 years ago. I actually felt that God was calling me to mission work and to adopt since I was about 11 years old. (That's a pretty long time, because sadly I'm getting old now. lol) This past year we got to meet 2 of the most beautiful little girls in Mexico and started the process to adopt one of them (and prayed God would open the door to bring both home!) This is Carmen. She's "our daughter" in our hearts.

This is Marisol. She's the other little girl we would love to bring home. Isn't she just precious???

Well, we took longer to find a home than we had hoped and then as soon as we got in, John found out that he needed surgery. We put our adoption on hold. We released Carmen so that she could be adopted by someone else and not have to wait for us.

In the meantime, the government in her state changed hands and the whole adoption department kind of went on hold. So, it's still up in the air and we have no idea if or when the girls will be available for adoption.

At the same time, we found out about Mom's cancer. That throws another curve ball into the equation as we do not want to travel for a long time until we know more about what is going on with her.

We finally went ahead and got our home study scheduled. We stalled for quite a while to let John heal and be released from the doctor with a clean bill of health and also to see if we knew any more about the Mexico program.

We had our first home study meeting this Thursday night and will finish it this coming Friday. After that we'll be ready to adopt. The only problem is that now we don't know who, or when, or where from. lol We are praying that God will make it very clear to us and open the doors He would have us to enter.

It makes me sad to think of not getting Carmen (and Marisol???) because we love them so much. I'm really not sure what will happen with that. At the same time, we had a peace about releasing her and waiting for now.

We have also been praying about domestic adoption and have an agency we've been talking to about their special needs program. We plan to send a copy of our home study to them in a few weeks. Who knows, we may hear something from them one day too. (you know what will happen...........they'll call us with a child we match with and then we'll accept and the next day we'll hear about Carmen......)

We really are looking forward to this next step. It will be exciting to see what God does with our willingness. It's kind of weird because all along we "knew" what our goal was and did all of the paperwork, etc. with their beautiful little faces in our mind the whole time. Now we are back to square one and have no idea how this will turn out. We could get a baby, an older child, any type of special need, any country...... I'm really going to spend some time in prayer this week about it and will pray for a very clear leading from God.

Where to begin?

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:06:00 +0000

So many thing have changed for us over the past year. Where do I even begin to go back and catch up on all of the special moments??? I guess I don't and I should just start from here. I'll find a few photos of some special moments and throw them in here and there, but I'll try not to get too hung up on it.

We love being back in the States, although we really do miss our "old life". It's really strange to get back into our native culture for good. It's an easy adjustment, yet once you live in another culture, you're never the same. You're an amazing blend of so many things. I think we're still trying to figure out how to balance the best of all that we love about everywhere we've been and lived.

The kids are in public school now. I really do miss a lot of things about home school. Especially the closeness and family time we enjoyed so much of. Honestly, it's been hard to fit devotionals and Bible reading in with the kids in the morning----and the evening. It seems like the mornings start out rushed (even when we plan well the night before) and the evenings end in exhaustion. :) That's one of my goals for this coming week and for 2nd semester--- really get our mornings off to a better start with a good breakfast and Bible reading and prayer together. We used to always have that. It never fails now, something gets crazy in the morning and then our whole time spirals downward. I figured this first semester would be kind of crazy like that though as we got into a routine. I am DEFINITELY ready to have our routine finalized.

As far as schools go though, we love it. The kids have great teachers and are having a wonderful experience. I could not have asked for better. I really didn't know what to expect this year, but it's been great so far. We surely do stay busy though! (I do miss the relaxed home school days!) And as far as time for me----- what happened to that dream????? It seems I'm busier now than ever. lol

But, life is good and we are so blessed.

New Look

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:02:00 +0000

I figured it's time to change things up a bit on the blog. I have not been blogging during the past few months. I'm ready to get back to it. It was time for a fresh start. Hopefully, I can tweak it a bit over the next few weeks to reflect our "new life" now that we're not on the mission field any more and we are no longer homeschooling. It's kind of sad in a way, but I'm sure I'll adjust soon. (and fill it up with lots of fun junk)

So, for now, we'll just be the monkey family. I do think it fits, actually........

This touched my heart-- trisomy 13 video

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 23:32:00 +0000

I saw this video today when I was on another site http://idscforlife.wordpress.com/. I'll be really honest, I only made it about 5 seconds with dry eyes.

You see, for me it was very personal--- we also lost a son to Trisomy 13. I've mentioned him before. He is David, my oldest son's twin brother. He only lived about 40 minutes the night they were born.

This video was like "deja-vu". It was almost like watching my own story in some ways. I remember how bittersweet it was to anticipate their birth, yet also dread it because I knew David would die. Honestly, we didn't know if Isaac would even make it (me neither a few times, but that's another story). As I sat there and watched this video, I could completely relate to so many things they said and did. We watched David take big gasps of air in our arms as he was dying, we bathed and dressed him afterwards, and we listened to them sing Jesus Loves Me at the funeral.

The part with the casket really hit home-- we've experienced that too. Hannah died 2 days before she was born. We spent those days making funeral arrangements. I vividly remember going to the store to buy a doll with a cute dress that would fit her as well as picking out an arrangement for her casket. That was rather awkward for the poor lady who had to take our order.

I really thought this video was well done.

The births and deaths of my children were some of the most difficult things we've ever faced, yet some of our biggest blessings, too. I wouldn't change it for anything. God has given us so many opportunities to minister through our experiences.

I will forever be an advocate for pro-life--- no matter what. It makes me so sad to know that so many children are unwanted and aborted just because of birth defects.

We are praying about our adoption process right now. We will probably have to change from our original plan, but we are still trying to get another child with special needs. We have a little girl we're praying about right now. (There's a younger girl in her country I'd love to bring home also. Maybe God will provide the way for us to go get one of them.)

John is doing VERY WELL after his 2nd surgery!!!!!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:44:00 +0000

John had his 2nd surgery last week. I am so far behind on blogging. It’s just been a little crazy here. I hope to back up soon and write a little about all of the things we did over the past month. It should be pretty easy--- they mainly dealt with doctor’s offices. lol (swine flu, enlarged lymph nodes, surgery, mom’s cancer, immunizations…….it seemed like almost every day!)

So, back to my story. ha!

John had his “takedown” surgery last Tuesday. That’s where they went in to the stoma site and reconnected the small intestine and took away his illeostomy forever. woohoo! His digestive system is routing through his small intestine again and working well. So far, so good!

I can not believe how well he is doing! My man is a trooper! : ) He had VERY LITTLE pain afterwards and barely took any pain meds. The only day he had much pain was the day he came home and that was because of walking, dressing, riding in a car, etc. Once he got settled, he was fine.

He’s also crazy (ha)--- he went to church Saturday night to do the paint talk presentation at the Fall Festival / Trunk or Treat. Yes, he really did. Did I mention that he was hard headed???? He really did feel fine though. (and he went to church on Sunday morning and to the office a few hours on Monday)

He’s on strict orders by me to stay in bed or the recliner resting today. I told him that if he didn’t, I would lock him in the dog’s kennel. lol

He looks so good and it’s great to see “my husband coming back”. I missed him! He’s feeling better and acting like himself more and more each day. I can’t wait until he’s 100% again.

It will still take a few months to have everything really good and completely normal inside again, but we are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Hmmmmmmm………maybe we don’t want to “see the light”. Ok, so we’re seeing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Does that sound better???

I love you, John! I’m so glad God has healed you! Woohoo!!!

Update on Mom’s cancer diagnosis

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:31:00 +0000

Well, we thought Mom would finally get to start chemo today, but it turns out that they have found some more concerns and need to run more exams.

Yesterday, I went with her to her appointment to get the results from her lung biopsy, MRI, bone scan, kidney ultrasound and everything else they did last week. It wasn’t good.

She now has cancer in her breast, lymph nodes under her left arm and in her chest, lungs, liver, colon, right hip bone and L5 vertebra.

The crazy thing is that the lung biopsy is showing that the cancer in her lung is actually LUNG cancer and not the inflammatory breast cancer that she has also been confirmed to have! So, the doctor sent it in for a few more opinions to make sure. It can happen, but it’s pretty rare to have 2 types of cancer at the same time. That will change treatment, of course, so we need to know for sure what we’re dealing with.

So, she may have the inflammatory breast cancer AND lung cancer. Wow!!! And just think…….in August we never dreamed cancer was in her future!

I am soooooooooo glad that God brought us back to the States to be here for her and my family during this time. What a blessing that has been to us. It amazes me that He orchestrated all of this. We felt that John’s illness wasn’t about us, but that it was something so much bigger. Now we have another piece of the puzzle and see a little more clearly how God is orchestrating our lives.

You know, even in the most difficult circumstances, He is still a Holy God and we can put all of our faith in Him. He can use these circumstances to do amazing things in our life and in the lives of those around us. Trust me on that one. We know from firsthand experience over and over how God uses the most difficult circumstances and makes something so beautiful from them and brings Glory to Himself. Sometimes you may look at your situation and think, “what??? that isn’t the ending I want”….or you think you can’t make it through something. But you just never know how He is using that.

It really is all about faith and obedience. I have learned over and over that I don’t have to understand (or sometimes even like) a difficult situation I may go through, but God can use that for His glory and it is such a blessing when I completely trust Him and allow Him to use me. It still may be hard to go through it (even incredibly difficult!!) but in the end, I always have such peace knowing that I’m not going through it alone and that God will never leave me.

We’ll just leave it in God’s hands and continue to pray for Mom.

*****UPDATE***** 12/16/09
Mom does NOT have cancer in her colon!!! It was a really bad shadow. The GI doctor said that happens all the time on these exams. So, her joke is that her feet and colon are fine but everything else basically has cancer. lol (you gotta have a sense of humor, right???)

my free time ????

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:37:00 +0000

The kids were so concerned about what I would do with all of my free time now that they're in school. Ike said it was the first time in 15 years I would be alone. When they went to school in Brasil, I had school too or tutoring, so never really had good old fashioned free days with no cares in the world. (ok, that was supposed to be a little sarcastic--- like that's how a mom's day is when her kids are in school. lol)

Well, so far, they've been in school 3 weeks and I have only had one day home alone!!!
And that day was GONE fast! Sam cam home asking what I did and if I was lonely. I just looked at him and laughed. I cleaned the house for 3-1/2 hours, then ironed clothes for 1-1/2 hours, then took a shower and drove to the bus stop. Yep, it was a pretty "lonely", sad, boring first day alone. haha I told John that these school days go way too fast! ha

I'm trying to work on projects around here and finishing unpacking since we never did that after we moved in and found out John needed surgery. I may even paint the rooms eventually! For now, it seems there are too many little fires to put out and no time to get started on anything. lol
It's definitely been interesting with kids home sick.

I got a new sewing machine, so I hope to get a little sewing done, too.
And lets not even talk about the years of scrapbooking I need to catch up on. I've decided to just go back and put them in regular albums and scrapbook from the present on--- if I ever get time. : )
Of course, there's the book I still want to write and the Bible studies I'd like to catch up on and ......... I think I could fill my days for a long time!

I've really thought a lot about going back to nursing school. I told Mom that I don't have time to go back to become a nurse because I'm too busy taking care of sick people between John's surgeries and her and the kids and ....... lol

I'm really not complaining though--- this post was all in fun. As moms, we're busy no matter where we work-- in the home or outside.... Whether we home school or if the kids go to school..... It's still just as hard to get to the grocery store and get our errands done and home cleaned sometimes!!!

I'm so glad to be getting everything back into a routine though. And zone cleaning again. Yes!! Look out FlyLady, here I come........... I'm ready to update my control journal with all of our new info-- phone numbers, emergency info, etc.

John's 2nd surgery-- Oct. 27th

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:28:00 +0000

John's 2nd surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, October 27th. It's a short procedure and he will only be in the hospital for a few days this time. But the recovery time will be a little rough as his body gets used to the new system. A few months down the road though, this will be a memory. (that's what they tell us, so we hold on to that .....)

The doctor will take out his temporary ileostomy and close up the site. He will also reconnect his small intestine to function normally. We'll see how it goes. We're praying that it will be withought complication and that he can heal and be back to normal in a few months.

I miss "my man". (In Brasil, you say "my woman" for wife so I like to call him "my man".)
He is doing great, but I do miss "the old John". I can't wait to have him back.

We are officially off of Prednisone too! woohoo!!! He's been off for about a month. That was a long 14 months on a high dosage of Prednisone!!! We don't ever want to do that again. It just makes you feel terrible and he NEVER slept the whole time. 2 hours of broken sleep a night was a great night! Wow!

So, keep praying.........one surgery to go and then it's just healing for good! woohoo!!!

Piggy Flu

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:23:00 +0000

Levi had a confirmed case of "Piggy Flu" (H1N1) as we so lovinly call it. lol

Poor boy--- he went to his first week of public school ever and came home with H1N1 on that Friday!!! Almost his whole class and teacher were out the next week sick. I'm not sure if they were confirmed cases or not, but his definitely was.

Meg got sick too, but they immediately put her on the meds and she was fine. She only had one day of fever and bounced right back.

Now Faith has a very swollen lymph node and they're watching it and giving her antibiotics for it. It's probably just an infection since we've had so much sinus junk around here. I have a sinus infection now too. Yuck. I'll be glad when this all passes. But......I'll take a sinus infection any day. It could definitely be something much worse!!!

The fever tends to come and then leave and then come back worse. Several people around here have said the same thing about their flu symptoms. It takes a while to get over it too. It's definitly a strong illness.

Mom has inflammatory breast cancer

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:58:00 +0000

What a shock it was to learn that Mom has cancer a few weeks ago. She had absolutely ZERO symptoms until August. She discoverd a lump and it got huge really quickly. In only about 5 weeks, it went from nothing to about 5-inches that you can see from the outside!!! She has been going through a lot of exams and the doctors will be starting treatment in about a week and a half-- which seems like a lifetime to us now that we're waiting. : )

She has inflammatory breast cancer. It's a rare type--only about 1% - 3% of breast cancers. It is also very aggressive and "starts" at stage 3 at least and often stage 4. That's becasue it doesn't really show up usually until it's already big and has spread to other places. (This, of course, if my paraphrase version-- plesase read professional medical information about it if you need more info on IBC.)

The plan is for her to do 6 months of chemo, then a mastectomy, then radiation for about 6 weeks. It will be about a year of treatment by the time you wait a month before and after surgery, etc. It's also the tentative plan. When they get some more tests back this week and know more about if it has spread anywhere else, then they may be changing the plan.

She is very pleased with the doctors she has and feels confortable with them. But of course, she is really dreading this and is still quite shocked that she even has cancer! We are all very surprised. We just had her birthday party at our new house in August and had no idea.

I have to call my own breast surgeon this week and get another appointment scheduled for a follow-up/check-up. In 2007, I had a golf-ball sized lump removed right before we left the States to go back to the mission field after our "furlough". It was benign, fortunately, but I have to be followed yearly. I've been waiting until we were settled to go back, so now it's time.

The bad thing about inflammatory is that it doesn't always show up on mammograms. I know I'm at high risk now and even her oncologist yesterday told her to tell her daughter to go get checked and stay on top of it. I will definitely do that!

I am so glad we're back in the States and able to be here for her. Dad has Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. He's doing great now, but while we were in Brasil as missionaries, he almost died several times. I was not allowed to come back to visit or help. What a blessing it is to be here for the family now!!!

You know, it's interesting......... when John got sick and we realized we would have to come back we had a lot of talks about this. We both felt that there was a reason for his illness, yet didn't really feel that it was "for us". We both felt we were going through this for another reason and that we were going back to the States for someone else. We thought it might be Dad. It turns out that my brother needed us here this summer, but now Mom and Dad really do as they face her cancer. You just never know how God will use difficulties in your life. Even though they may be horrible and terribly difficult, they are always part of a bigger picture. We can thank God for allowing us to come back for John's illness because it allowed us to be here when our family will truly need us the most. Isn't God good????

It just amazes us the way He orchestrated it all. John has a wonderful job that he loves and we could not have asked for a better church to serve at. It's right by our family and that is an added bonus now that they are going to need help and support. Wow! Amazing!!!

Mom would appreciate prayer for her as she is facing treatment over the next year. It's going to be a rough road, but we'll get through it together.

Major changes in our family

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:32:00 +0000

I've sat down to write this post about 100 times, but kept waiting until I had more details. I'll go ahead and write what I know for now and can fill in more as the days go by.

First of all, we put the kids in public school a few weeks ago. I'm sure that's probably a major shock to many and may seem kind of sudden. It's really not. We talked about this a lot over the past year when John was sick and we travelled back and forth so much for his medical treatment in the city. (We were living 5 hours away from a city in the middle of the mountains in Mexico.) When we came back to the States, we discussed it, yet love home schooling, so started that again this year.

John ended up finding out on August 28th that he would be having surgery to remove his entire colon 4 days later, Sept. 1st! So much for starting school that week as we had planned. Then he came home and it was chaos--- dr. appointments, visiting nurses, caring for him, etc. -- all while trying to get our school work done. It finally settled and we did get going, but trust me, it was so "weird" feeling. We just couldn't get a good routine down and all sorts of things. I knew John would be going back for another surgery around the first of November and it would be crazy again. There were many other factors that played into this and I won't go into them all right now, but the chaos was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back. : )

I told John that I really felt that we needed to put them in school right now. Because of the travel last year and our move mid-year, and the inconsistency that resulted (we had an amazing start and then it just got so messed up by transition), I saw some things I really wanted to hit hard this year but knew it was going to be impossible since it looked like we were having a repeat of last year. I knew the kids needed more discipline in their work and deadlines and more writing assignments and ..... you get the idea. It's hard to explain, but I just knew that would not happen here until at least 2nd semester. And by then it would be 1-1/2 school years of transition and would be hard to get going again. I was being pulled in several directions and it wasn't really fair to them or to me.

And then there was just "something" that made me feel that we needed to put them in now. I couldn't pinpoint it, but just felt like the timing was now. Well, we took the kids out to the school and got them enrolled and started and then 2 days later found out that my mom has a really aggressive form of breast cancer. (I'll post on that after this post.) I am so thankful that we did put the kids in school. I am freed up a bit (haha--- more on that later, too!) and can help her without feeling guilty for all of the things hanging over my head that I know I need to do but am not doing any of them well. (I'm sure you've been there before!)

So, I really feel good about having them in school right now. I know we were supposed to for this season in life. Now, that's not to say that it doesn't make me a little sad and that I feel that they will get the "best" education there. But, for now, I think they are supposed to be there. Meg is a little bored because she is way ahead of the game in 1st grade, but overall she likes it. The others love going. I have already seen the discipline coming back into their studies and really feel that they needed this as much as I did right now.

We love home schooling and have fabulous material. As a matter of fact, they ask to do some of it at home still. But transition can take its toll and sometimes we just have to look at the season of life we're in and make radical adjustments accordingly. We've always taken it one year at a time and tried to follow God's leading. I don't feel guilty at all and it actually feels like a burden has been lifted. Not that "school" was a burden, but we moved in, had surgery, tried to start school.......all of this in just a month's time--on top of the crazy last year of non-stop transition. It was getting crazy and I knew it would be that way until at least the end of the year. Now when they come home at night, I can focus on them and do homework with them (yes, kind of feels like we're still home schooling with the amount of homework--lol) but I don't feel bad about them not getting the attention or lessons that they need.

On top of that, we were given fabulous teachers!!! Several of them are christians and they have been so wonderful to us. That really helped ease my mind a lot.

The high school gave Ike credit for everything and even put him in honors classes. None of our kids had to be tested--- they looked at their work and trusted us on their levels and put them where we said they were. The kids are doing well at grade level, so it's good. ( I will admit though--- I had the most stressful weekend of my LIFE when I was pulling together records and transcripts and samples of work. I don't want to relive that one!!! )

Waiting to leave for SGK event

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:36:00 +0000

The girls all rode the bus together to the Secret Keeper Girls Tour. The moms carpooled. Faith was excited to get to ride in the church's people mover with the other girls.

Before we left, they met in the cafe at church and had a little ice breaker activity. They had to sign each other's sheet. Each girl was also instructed to make a card for her mom with the material they were given (paper, stickers, envelope, etc.) Faith made a card for me and gave it to me this morning. When I opened it up she had 2 coupons in it for a free small shake and a Route 44 drink from Sonic. woohoo! She was all smiley about giving it to me. It was a really cute idea and I think she really liked being able to give me a gift.

I love my princess Faith!!!! She's such a wonderful daughter!

Mom and Daughter night

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:26:00 +0000

Faith and I had a great time last night. We went to the Secret Keeper Girls event held in a nearby church. We had about 40 from our church go. It was geared for girls ages 8-12. Kind of those "tween" years. The girls loved it! It's all about modesty, purity,true beauty (inner beauty) and friendships. It was wonderful.

I bought a Bible Study for Faith called My Best Friend Jesus. It's about Meditation on God's Truth about True Friendship.

I also bought a book/kit called Secret Keeper Girl 8 Great Dates for you and Your Daughter. (A Secret Keeper Girl Has The Power of True Beauty and Modesty) It looks great. The idea is to have 8 "dates" with your daughter. There is info for mom to read and a journal for the daughters to keep. There's also info to discuss together and really fun activities. Faith is soooooooooo excited about it. One activity is getting a facial or manicure. Another is getting a new haircut or up-do. Woohoo! You know she's ALL for that!

The material looks fabulous and I think we're going to have a lot of fun together. Our first date will be to a tearoom for a tea party together. I can't wait! The kit came with a CD. It has music (by Rebecca St. James) and a stories for you to listen to on your way to and from the "dates". It's about 7-10 minutes each time. There is also Diary Girl Gab (about 15-25 minutes) to get you talking and discussing all kinds of neat topics that your daughter has put in her diary/journal based on the questions and prompts in it. Then of course there's the Challenge--- what you do at your special destination. (facials, tea parties, shopping, camp outs, bake goodies for neighbors, etc.)

They have another set with 8 dates but the topic of that material is on friendships. It is also very good. I'm going to get that one next. I really think we're going to like this time together and digging into God's word. It's a lot of fun now that Faith is getting old enough to do things with and have meaningful conversations.

I bought her a new dress and shoes to wear for our special night last night. I got a new blouse for myself too. She was really excited about it. Here's a photo we took on our way out the door for our first ever Mom and Faith night. I hope there are many more to come throughout the years!!!

Our adoption is on hold

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:47:00 +0000

I have not had the heart to update this blog or Carmen's blog with the latest news, but I know I must.

We have put our adoption on hold. We felt we needed to release her to be available for another family to adopt because we will not be able to travel to go get her until at least after the first of the year some time. We really hated to do that, yet felt it was only fair to her while we are letting John heal from the surgeries. In a few months he will be great and we can pick right back up and go get the child (or children) God has chosen for us.

If Carmen is still available, we will pray about going to get her. We do love her very much and it was a very hard decision to make, yet we felt a peace once we released her and know that we did the right thing. She is a wonderful little girl. We would love to be her mommy and daddy, but most of all we just want her to have a family--- even if it's not ours.

Reece's Rainbow will begin the annual Angel Tree fundraiser the first of November. It is an amazing time to make a donation to the children listed on their site throughout the world with Down syndrome. For 2 months (Nov and Dec) you can see everyone's photo and watch their individual grant amounts increase daily. Last year I had the privilege of signing up for an hour of prayer for the kickoff. What a neat time that was. We sponsored 2 children last year. They are both HOME now with their new families! Wow! We celebrated when we heard someone had committed to them and it brought tears of joy to my eyes to see their first photos with their new families once they were able to travel and adopt them. For a $35 donation, you get a Christmas ornament with the picture of the child you are sponsoring on it. I can't wait to put ours on the tree this year. I'm really looking forward to it this year. A lot of children got families last year because of the Angel Tree. The grant $$ donations really help to offset the cost of adoption. It's expensive, but when God calls you to do it, how can you say "no"???

Anyway, why did I mention that???? Well, Carmen will be featured on there (as "Cara") and there just may be a family who will commit to her. It's hard to see her little photo listed again. We're praying God will send her a family if it is not us. Marisol, too. We were (are) praying about bringing them both home.

It's kind of surreal now. We put the home study on hold too. We had everything ready except for that and were planning to schedule it and then we found out John needed surgery. John and I have been talking about it though and we're ready to go ahead and do our home study. We want to be "paper ready" for any opportunity God may put before us. We really look forward to seeing how and when God will bring another child into our family.

One more......... Corinna

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:25:00 +0000

I know I've put 3 children on here in a row, but these girls really tug at my heart. Would you also pray for Corinna? She is precious!!! It breaks my heart to know she has already been sent to a mental institution and spends her day in bed wasting away. How sad. I hope God will send someone to save her soon!

Here is her info from the older girls page of Reece's Rainbow.

, Born January 12, 2003

Corinna is a beautiful little girl who has spent the last 2 years of her life in a mental institution. She has SO much potential, and is close to walking, but spends much of her days lying in bed for lack of anything else to do. She was sent to this facility from another baby house we work in now, so it is imperative that she be saved!

She does have some strabismus, but no heart condition. She is able to stand on her own, but is not walking quite yet. She is very much a baby, even at 6 years of age. She is only 21 pounds at this time :( But she will really blossom in the care of a loving family, and has every reason to be able to walk and run and really thrive. There will be very little left of this "shell" once she gets home into her new life! She has tremendous potential, and could be another amazing success story!

The orphanage staff tell us she does like to play with toys, is interactive and affectionate, and has "potential to improve".

Praying for Anna

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:14:00 +0000

This is Anna.

Last October, we signed up and committed to be prayer warriors for a child on the Reece's Rainbow site. She is the little girl we were given. We will be prayer warriors for her until she has a family and is home. She lives in Eastern Europe and is already 5 years old. She'll be 6 next May. She is very blessed to still be at the baby house. The children are transferred to the institutions once they turn 4 normally. From there it's a very sad life. They often don't live past the first year and it's a very difficult life for them. Since she is past 4, she could be transferred any day. It seems God has a different plan for her so far. We pray He will send her a family soon!!!

Faith was very concerned about her tonight and asked me what would happen to her if no one went to go get her. I told her the truth. I heard a few sniffles as she fell asleep. She loves this little girl and has prayed for her for a year now.

Would you pray with us for God to send a family to Anna and bring her home?

She has $1,409 in her grant fund already. That is money that will go towards her adoption once a family commits to her. Once she is 6 though, it will go into the general fund for "older girls". (Isn't it sad to be an "older girl" at only 6???) Let's pray she will get a family BEFORE she turns 6. You can read about her here. She has Down syndrome and is very high functioning.

Isn't she adorable!!!

Birthday present for Masha

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 13:00:00 +0000

This is Masha. She lives in an orphanage in Eastern Europe. Isn't she beautiful? I just love this little girl. Ever since I first saw her a year ago, she has captured my heart. She is turning 6 on Saturday. I'm praying she will get a family this year for her birthday. I am donating money to her adoption grant fund in honor of her birthday. Would you want to donate to help her find a family also? What a great birthday present that would be! Here is her info from Reece's Rainbow and the link:
http://www.reecesrainbow.com/newsite/angelolderchild.html

Masha
Girl, Born September 19, 2003

Treacher Collins Syndrome

This beautiful little girl is in need of a loving family and a promising chance at life! She has brown hair and giant blue yes! Masha was born with Treacher Collins Syndrome. http://children.webmd.com/treacher-collins-syndrome-10671 She is a very smart, happy, and social little girl. She does have some hearing loss, which is a common symptom of this syndrome. however she is not living in an orphanage specifically for deaf children.

Please check back soon for further info on her medical condition and her DOB.

Please contact Andrea directly for more information

I have $10 in my grant fund towards the cost of my adoption!

John's doing well

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:35:00 +0000

John is doing very well. He's really sore, but that is to be expected. Of course, falling the other night didn't help! His leg gave out on him when he stood up Monday night around midnight. He hit the ground hard. I was afraid I would see broken bones or open incision sites, but God was good. He's just sore from it. It was the same leg that was numb after surgery. It has been fine and then all of a sudden it just went numb when he stood up. He does have feeling and use in it, but it's not 100% feeling like before surgery. It will probably be back to normal with time.

Only 2 more weeks of Prednisone and then we're done with it for good! woohoo!!! yippee!!!! I told John we'll have a party to celebrate. I think his face is already starting to go down a little from all of the swelling since they've cut it back so much already. He had to wean off of it for a few weeks since he was still on a pretty significant dosage.

Snake skin

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:23:00 +0000

The neighbor found this in his yard. I think it was in the area where the trees are between our houses. Hmmmmm..........I guess the good news is that we might not have any mice problems with this thing out there somewhere. The bad news................well, that's kind of obvious.................. lol

John came home---- barely

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 14:20:00 +0000

Well, he's in our room sleeping, but it almost didn't happen!

Saturday morning I went to the hospital around 8:30 a.m. so I could hear the doctor's instructions. He was going to take the drain out and send him home that morning. Instead, when I got there, John was knocked out on nausea medicine. He got very sick Friday evening and was vomiting and very nauseated. They're not sure what happened. So, they said he was not going home and was having an x-ray instead to look for blockages or anything wrong with his abdomen. He was in intense pain. I think it was probably from eating again, putting him on oral pain meds, and getting up and moving around, mixed with the reality of "finally" feeling the pain for real with the morphine drip and pump gone.

It was a long day. I didn't take anything to do with me that day because I thought we were leaving. So, I sat and watched him sleep and took care of him for 10-1/2 hours. I tried to leave several times, but he kept asking me to stay so he would have a "voice". (I did everything for him and made sure they took care of things when he needed them. Otherwise he would sit and wait a long time.)

I figured it would be Monday or Tuesday before he went home. His back was killing him because of the hospital bed though and his skin was getting a rash from not moving much, so we were both looking forward to getting him out of the hospital.

Yesterday, Sunday, I went up prepared---- I had my bag of goodies (magazine, book, Bible study, notebook, etc.) and his computer. I was thrilled to see him. He looked much better. Still weak and not as strong as he was on Friday, but 100% better than when I left him Saturday!!! He was sitting up and talking and coherent. (He was back on morpine, too.)

I checked his rash, took care of that, shaved his face, helped him brush his teeth and before we knew it, the surgeon came in. He asked if he wanted out of there. Of course John said yes, thinking it was for another day. He ended up sending in the physician assistant to take out the drain and got the paperwork done for him to go home that day! wow! I was very surprised. So were the nurses!

I had my doubts if it would happen as I tried to help him dress and get out of bed. I think his motto was "fake it 'til you make it" as he tried to move. He was in a LOT of pain. The ostomy care nurse came in and worked with us again and we were ready to go. He did great on the ride home and when we got to the house it seemed like a really long walk to the front door.

He sat in the recliner for several hours. He was so glad to have something comfy and not the hospital bed. I got him settled, then had to leave to go pick up his pain medicine from the pharmacy and a few supplies we would need to care for him here, as well as all of the stuff we were out of from the store. I was a little worried because I was gone a long time.

When I got home he was just getting up and was definitely ready for the pain medicine. I helped him get a shower and into fresh clothes and he went to bed. I was exhausted. He slept very well. We'll have to get up through the night about once from now on, but it's better than all night like we were up before! : )

The dogs are a little stressed. They know something is wrong. I was gone all week, John was gone, Grandma was here, they were in their kennel a lot and when I got home wtih John I did not even play with them or pet them. I was so busy with him and I had them put into their kennel. So, they barked and howled all night. aghhhhhhhhhh! They're better this morning, but I think they're a little depressed. They'll be ok in a day or two.

It feels so good to be home! I have a huge list of things to do around here. Now I can get busy. I think John will actually rest here. He didn't at the hospital. Our bed and chairs are comfortable, he can shower, have a quiet room, get up when he feels like it, etc. It's wonderful to have him home! The kids are really happy.

update on John

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 13:01:00 +0000

John had a great day yesterday!!!

The doctor took him off of the morphine pump and put him on oral pain meds. He also allowed him to switch to a regular diet by dinner last night. We'll see how he does today after a few meals. He was very glad. The poor man was so hungry --- and that broth, soup and jello just wasn't cutting it. lol

PT came in and showed him a couple of things to do to strenghten the quadricep and he walked the halls twice. He did great. The right leg is still a little weak, but much better and he can use it. I think PT is going to work on stairs with him today.

I think he's still on target to go home this weekend. Today will probably be the crucial day--- how does he tolerate food, how does he tolerate the oral pain meds, how does he do walking and getting out of bed, etc. Hopefully he'll be home in the next couple of days. I know the kids are ready to see him! I may take Ike with me today. The others are too young to go.

Thanks for the prayer!

I'm trying to find a baby monitor to borrow for a couple of weeks. When we're downstairs doing school work, we won't be able to hear him up here if he needs us (maybe that's a good thing?!?!).
I thought it would be helpful to put it in the room he's in and then we can hear him if he calls.

His color looks great and he is doing remarkably well. I'm amazed.

1st day after surgery

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 12:51:00 +0000

John had a rough morning and early afternoon yesterday.
When I arrived in the morning, he was sitting in his chair----- and had been for over 2 hours. He was beyond ready to get back in bed. As I got to his floor, the surgeon saw me and said he was looking for me. John was very nauseated and light headed so they were adjusting his meds some. (I think some of it had to do with the 2 hours in the chair. lol) He also could not use his right leg. When they tried to get him up, he couldn't feel the leg and it gave out on him. That's why he was sitting so long while they tried to figure out what was going on and get other doctors involved, etc.

The called in a neurologist and ordered a cat scan. The surgeon says the nerve wasn't cut, but he thinks it was badly bruised and stretched from moving it during surgery. PT came in to get a baseline to assess the function in that leg. He could feel it from the knee down, but the quadricep area was numb. He couldn't lift it, adduct or abduct it. They wanted a cat scan to make sure it wasn't a blood clot or something.

So, the poor guy had to sit in that chair a long time, then they finally got him back in bed and radiology showed up to take him down for the scan. Once he got back, PT came in. Then the ostomy nurse to work with us, then the regular nurse to do some more stuff, then.............. you get the idea.

He was exhausted and in a lot of discomfort.
By evening he felt much better and was able to rest.
He also had feeling back in the leg by about 4:30 or 5. The neurologist came in and checked it shortly after that. It still wasn't 100% but it was a huge improvement over that morning. Hopefully today it will be even better.

I'll head up there in a little while and hope to hear a good report. His roommate left in the afternoon, so he got a quiet room for the evening. That helped a lot. Today he should have a new roommate. It's a very busy surgical floor.

His color looks great and he is doing amazingly well. I thought he would really be in a lot more pain yesterday. He is in pain, but I guess I just expected a horrible first day out. They want to get him up some, but couldn't with his leg. I guess he'll be walking today if he has full function.

Before I left, he was able to talk to the kids on the phone and even checked his email on his phone. The kids were really glad to hear from him and it made them feel much more secure about daddy getting well.

John's surgery went very well

noreply@blogger.com (Pamela) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 11:26:00 +0000

I'm very happy to report that John's surgery went very well. The surgeon was able to do the ileostomy part of the surgery with a laparascopic procedure. That means less pain for him and a quicker healing time. Possible less infection, too. Of course, having said "less pain" it doesn't mean no pain. And John is in a LOT of pain. Poor guy!!!

I'm sure today will be a very rough day at the hospital.
He'll finally be awake and a little more conscious of what's going on.
He did not even get out of recovery and into a room until 5:45 last night. I got to see him at 6.
He was still pretty out of it and thrashing a bit on the pillow when he felt the pain. It didn't help that he had a loud roommate with a lot of visitors and the tv blaring. (aggggggghhhh!)
It kept waking him up and it was annoying him. I don't blame him. He just wanted quiet and rest.

I only stayed until 7:45. I am heading back up this morning. I figured he needed the rest and if he saw me he would try to talk to me.

The nurses specializing in ostomy care will be coming in today to begin our education and get us ready for when we go home. He will also have home health at first. (yeah) There's nothing like going home and knowing you're "on your own" that first time or two. It will be nice to have someone checking the site for infection for us and overseeing us as we change everything to make sure we're doing it correctly.

Well, off to get ready................
Thank you for the prayer!!!

The doctor was very pleased with how it went.
It's cute--- I told John, "You did great!" "The doctor said you did very well."
John's answer: "Thank you, but I don't really remember it." (like he did some great and noble thing for someone and he didn't remember what he did. I laughed at that one.)

more updates tonight